Relationship Series: Bachelor number two

“Observe if you will this shilling sight, bachelor number two seemed promising,” which was exactly what I thought: Bill was two years older than me, on the soccer team, British, and very cute.  We had participated in a mild flirtation, long night talks online, and gossip between friends when he finally asked me out on a date.

We hung out a few time and I realized I really did like him, he was sweet attentive and gentle, a real character. But I wasn’t the type of gal,  to be attracted to guys like that. I tried him on anyway: you know its not your style but you grab it because its there. We dated for a while, I always wanted him to be more manly I wanted him to wrestle and fight, and stop being so attentive and sensitive, I mean I know that’s wrong, but I just wasn’t up for the pretty boy boyfriend just yet. I was young and naive.

We had sex, and one of my most embarrassing moments so far in my sexual past is one I had with him. I remember laying there after my first time with him, and wondering why people like to have sex, but by the six or seventh time we had done it I got my answer. I remember being in his room late at night, with his parents across the hall, (I’m not going to lie, and this might be sharing a bit to much but I’m not quiet in bed, I like to moan, and show that I am enjoying the situation.) But just as I was finishing, his dad walks in the room, only to realize what we were doing and closed the door, I was modified, while we were dating his father never looked at me the same, to him I would always be the whore who took his sons virginity.

Our relationship was short, about three to four months, but we spent ever day together so it had felt as if we were together for a life time.  This is one of the earliest relationships that I discovered the word “clingy” I was there all the time, and I didn’t mean to but I latched on to him.  And because I held him so tight he slipped away, out of my reach, so we broke up.

My Only Fear Is My Emotion.:Relationships

I was attempting to try and just forget about the man that I’d been sneaking around with by trying to fool around with someone else. But it merely felt exhausting. I’d talk to this guy that I was fooling around with a few times, and I really liked him so I couldn’t get him out of my head. I tried to see the big picture, and decided to hit on another man, the guy unlike the only I had a brief affair with, was kind, gentle, brown, funny, and totally not my type, but I tried him on because I needed a change.

I can say without a doubt that one of the scariest things we poses is our emotions. Ben ( guy I fooled around with, and not real name) was happily cheating on his girlfriend as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I should be more open and free, care less, and try to move on from Ben. After all he had told me himself that even though right now he doesn’t want kids or marriage that some day he will want all of that stuff. He will want a family. And no matter what I did there would be nothing that would change his mind he loved her, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Sure I didn’t understand why he thought an older, chubbier girl, who wore no make up, never touched her eyebrows, or naturally blond hair was lovable. But I had to try because every time I stopped to think about what we would be like it was always bad. He was better off with her, and  I had to live with knowing it.

So I hit on this other guy named Tauren, I wasn’t attracted to Tauren emotionally or physically, but I felt as if it be the only thing that could help me escape the hell I seemed to be swimming in. So I talked to him at the music festival while I was drinking, and flirted a little, Ben was behind us and I believed he noticed which only made me feel better. And then I messaged him we talked about work, parties, interest, and I was begging to think I may like this new guy. Until I saw him again. I came face to face with Ben, and after I left him, after another night of yet again flirting, and sexing, I left. I didn’t want to talk to Tauren I didn’t even want him around me. I just wanted to be by myself, I wanted Ben to love me.

 

Relationships: A Love vs Like.

When it comes of affairs of the mind and heart, I couldn’t help but wonder which one was stronger the like between me and you or the love between you and her? It seems if you love someone you share everything, are connected, and when you like someone your just awakening these feelings, but what happens when love between me and you, forces you to cheat? Did the man that gave me the best of the best in bed really like me? And if he didn’t why did I stay? Was I just addicted to the pain, the ultimate pain of being with someone who only ever wanted to be alone; I was having a sort of affair. The man I was “seeing” has a girlfriend, they’ve been together for three years, and now he was cheating on her with me.

It was bad. Every part of me was screaming to kill him, and tell her. But I couldn’t, I swore the first time it happened between us would be the last time, but when the opportunity presented itself, I seized it.

He was aware that I liked him the year before, and  so did his girlfriend; which, is why me and him hardly ever talk to each other. I was surprised that when I came back from the city we began talking, nothing serious just casual. We shared mutual friends so when I’d see him around I’d listen to one of his b.s. stories.

Okay, so the first time it happened, we were in my friends trailer  which he claims is his “home”. And there was no one else around, he raped his arm around me and before I knew it we were kissing, we were both drinking, touching, and he wanted to have sex, but I told him no because we had no condom. For that reason we began doing everything else, I gave him head, a hand job, we made out, etc.

The next day I woke up feeling better than I had in months. He created a new line to what I identified as amazing sex.  So after three weeks of un-returned messages, and no interest in starting conversation with me at parties, I started to write of our one night as an act of idiocy, and came to terms with the fact that it probably wouldn’t happen again…well it did.

Last week after my best friend, his sisters boyfriend and mr. cheater went to bed, I was still wide awake. So I silently made my way over to Ben (not real name)’s bed trying not to awake my best friend. I taped on his back and his first response was “what?” in a winy voice due to the fact he’d already been a sleep for a while, I just touched him and said, “come on”, in the sexiest voice that was a available to me after a night of drinking, and no rest.  Then my best friend woke up and him and Ben had a conversation while they were both sleeping, I touched Ben again, and he realized I was the one trying to get his attention.

He didn’t want to do anything at first, so he rolled on his side away from me. I was mega horny so I started to bite his neck, he just said, “stop your making me hard” I laughed and continued, before I knew it we were together, the last time had been me, and him super drunk but this time, it was just me , he had maybe a half a beer. After we did it together, I knew I really liked him. So much so that I swallowed when he came, sure I was drunk and a bit surprised but I knew it was coming. When we laid down on our backs next to each other, he asked me the time, and I had no idea what it was, we found his phone and discovered it was four am.

I guess it made me his secret sex thing but it was awful because he treated me like shit, when I wanted to keep going he said no because he loved her. I decided to interrogate him while I was in my “Cosmopolitan Haze”. I told him I liked him and he said he knew, I asked him why he was with her and he said because she’s amazing, and kind. I asked him if he wanted the life that she was offering which included kids, and marriage and he said yes. It was all to much and there was nothing I could do.

Finally I got a bit upset and I said to him, “then tell me to my face, to my face, you don’t like me, just say it, I need to here you say it… I can’t keep doing this to myself” I was almost in tears, terrified that I was putting myself on the limn, and he said to me, “I like you too, but I love her” that became the very first time I wanted to say I hate you. Instead I walked back to my bed, and fell asleep, I woke up at eight am the next day, and practically ran out the idea of waking up and running into Ben would be to emotionally wrong for me to handle, so I left. But that last sentence he said to me: I like you too, but I lover her, made me wonder if he was telling me the truth.

If you look at it what did he have with her? Well she offered him, a home, money, kids, and his parents loved her. Even if his relationship with her wasn’t full of passion at least he had companionship. If he went with me what did I have to offer, his friends would probably think, “what the fuck” because there’s a five year difference, his family probably wouldn’t like me very much because I’m still a teenager. I don’t want kids, or marriage unlike Kat (his girlfriend), I’m not domestic in any way, I can’t quilt, or bake. The good things that he would get being with me would be love, love that we both share similar interests, love that would be all consuming, wild sex, and intimacy.

I wondered what was stronger. I knew somewhere inside him he felt it. Felt something toward me, maybe i would only be his sex thing, maybe it would just be these two times, but it was to cloudy for me to see clearly.

I desperately needed something to pull me out of this, the sex justified everything our relationship wasn’t, and everything that it was. I couldn’t understand why he would stay with her. When I confessed to my friend that it happened again she was tempted to tell Kat, and she judged me a little for it, but she was right. Now I was the one to blame I felt lower than the low, and the guilt worked on me like an aphrodisiac.

What was I to him? There were no words to describe what it was I was doing. Yet every time I’d stop and think I’d think back to the night. What he said, the way he looked, everything around me became a subject evaluate. And the only thing that scared me more was the fact that I wanted it to happen again, but I dare not tell any of my friends.

My friend brought up another very important fact, I may have thought about me in this situation, like what would happen to me if she found out, but I never stopped to think what would happen to her if she found out. Ben didn’t care sure he loved her and all but if you really love someone wouldn’t you be more careful? I knew if she was to find out, she’d break up with him, and their relationship would be non-existent but I didn’t want to put her through that pain. I just wanted Ben to break up with her, and never tell her he cheated but rather tell her they just fell apart and no amount of love could fix it.

So maybe I have no idea how he feels about me, maybe I’ll never know, but I knew what I felt inside was to scary, and too real. I’d have to pull myself out of the mess, before I end up hurt.

Can Great Sex Become A Relationship?

In a life if you have great sex it can either stay a relationship or just sex or become something more or become nothing. And to some sex is a barometer for whats going on in the relationship. Lack of sex means lack or relationship but is it that cut and dry? Maybe after everything we don’t need councilors, therapists, or teachers, maybe all we need is a good sex instructor to help us in our sometime miserable relationships. Then I had a thought can you really build a relationship on great sex?

Most relationships I’ve been in required me to get used of my boyfriends body before we ever had amazing sex. But what if you having amazing sex and no relationship. I experienced first hand last month amazing sex without a relationship, and I wondered if it was maybe because he was really good or was I changing and no longer desired the need to love before I “make love”.

I mean what did I even know about the guy I really liked? I knew his name, his background (because I hear people tease him for being french), I know his brother, and that’s all, I don’t know, where he grew up, his whole family, his interests outside of heavy metal, drinking, story telling, and biking. And he didn’t know anything about me, he knew my mom because she was quit the slut when she lived here, he knows my dad because his brother, and my father use to be friends, he knows around where I live, he doesn’t know, I love to write, I use to sing in talent shows as a kid, I want to be a doctor, and that I owned two cats countless hamsters rabits, and fish.

If we were to talk, sit down and actually talk we’d have allot to discuss, I mean it would be hard to restrain myself from him, but there was so much he still didn’t know about me. I wondered if maybe he got to know me he would love me one day as much as he has any other girl, his friends, and family would warm up to me, and I know this sounds crazy but lately when I think about what it would be like to be with him I can picture a serious future.

I didn’t want to believe we could never be together, I didn’t want to give up on the idea that he might dump this girlfriend. I feared that if we ever got together he could never love me the way I wanted to be loved. I feared that I could never just him; because, I’d known how are relationship started. I feared that after everything he’d leave, but I didn’t care when I thought about what we could have, what he could give to me.

I feel terrible because, I have to leave my home town, to travel for school; which means I have to leave him, but I guess will just have to see what the future has for us in store.

Relationship Series: My First Love.

Series on my relationships with men from the last three years or so. I’ve decided that for my next blogs I would do a series on most or all the relationships I’ve encountered; I got the Idea from a woman that I read from time to time. Depending on the views and comments I’ll decide if I should keep doing this.

Okay, so the first person I’d ever “fallen in love” with was a man named Garret. I met Garret at a bonfire down by my local beach. We hit it off! Our hangouts became dates, late nights became sleep overs, and long talks became connections smiles and memories. We were perfect and soon we were living together. He was everything I needed in a first love and he made me feel sexier than I’d ever been before. We would wrestle together, play games and through parties.

I was never jealous of other woman because he seemed to be crazy about me. One night in front of my house when no one else was around and we were by the beach he told me I could have anyone I want and that’s when I realized just how much I really did love him. Early september came and my mother was getting tired of our island made mostly of farm land, and populated about seven thousand or less people. So we took a trip and of coarse naturally Garret came with. We went to Prince Rupert and then to Terrace where we watched a movie, swam in the pools, and debated on new and interesting tattoos. My mother had no idea me and Garret were dating she knew that we were together all the time, but one night late we were in bed and he had slept on the floor when I heard a funny noise. She had waved him on to her bed. And they’d slept together in the mattress right next to mine. I couldn’t believe it, and it broke my heart, I cried for weeks. I didn’t want my parents to break-up so I tried to keep it to myself. However it was the ending to my relationship with him, I was so confused, my heart still loved him but my head, my head told me enough was enough.

It took me four months to feel normal and get over him. But honestly the damage took a tole to my heart. Later that month my dad caught my mother and my ex kissing by the beach, he freaked, they broke up and I went depressed, it was not a fun time to be me.
I believe we take something from every relationship were in. Whether its a new phrase, music, clothing, or lesson. I learned you can’t trust anyone but yourself, and that usually if your not sure what to do it helps to talk to your gals about it. But he did hurt me and the fact that that happened and he was my first love made it all to much to handle.

Couple Fun Facts:

My mom was in her thirtys
He was three years older than me
First boyfriend
The hotel was the sandman
I ended up getting a tattoo of a butterfly two years later
We were only in terrace two days
My brother was in the room also,
I got up to use the washroom and they didn’t stop.
He lied to me about several things.
And he completely abandoned me after everything: not saying sorry, denying anything happened,  and cutting me out of his life.
He was my first.

I was thirteen years old, and I’m not kidding.

Five Tips And One Helpful Hint To Having A Stronger Relationship.

Some women spend their whole lives examining the unknown, I spent my whole life examining what’s unknown about men, and relationships. Even though my life tends to bring many questions, and on some level I seem to think everything somehow means something, I wondered if men really aren’t that complicated. And if they are complicated, is it because the situation is complicated due to another woman, I couldn’t help but wonder was, “just go fuck his brains out and he’ll forget all about it, men aren’t that complicated their kinda like plants” true?

After all it seemed the way to control a man, or get him to do what it is you like is by the sex you preform together. But what happens when you are having sex on more than a regular bases does the need for a wild night heighten, and heighten when your not around? If your dating a man after a certain point and you reach a type of route-en classic “coming” does leaving him alone for more than a month pose a danger to your relationship?

In my experience most men who cheat, are cheating while their girlfriends are out of town, or if their sex life seems to be far and few-alienation of affection.

I think women tend to keep men in a sort of emotional dungeon.  Terrified that they might cheat we keep our “mans”on short leashes which only drives them away from us. SO I’ve come to the conclusion that there are certain things you can do to make sure this does not happen to you and your man is not pressured to cheat because he’s in an amazing relationship with his girl.

One sex, orgasm is very important in a relationship. It sounds stupid but if your fighting at least your having amazing bed time fun!  Tip one when giving oral sex make sure you look at him and take your time, try to enjoy it, laugh a little it will let him know your having a good time (watch the giggle though, you don’t want him to think your laugh at his area); which, will get him more excited which in turn will benefit your relationship. Make sure when doing this you highlight everything he has to offer down there, cushion his balls or suck on them do not let him hang without a helpful hand. Lick the tip of his penis a couple times, and around the base to tickle him a little and awake his senses, use your hands; doing oral sex doesn’t mean its all about the mouth a hand on his shaft can be well received. Play around his bellybutton if he’s on his back, and if he’s on his chair or in an upright position  the inner part of his thies. Oral sex is not demeaning, you might be on your knee’s but you got him by the balls. It is my belief that the reason oral has a bad rep is because woman are afraid or don’t like doing it.

Tip two if you are away don’t text or message him every five minutes or call three times a day. Limit yourself call once a day, maybe one playful text a week. The little communication will make him miss you, but since you still are checking up on him he’ll think you care, if you are afraid of phone sex suck it up, because if he’s “coming” on a regular bases when your there, he will probably be taking care of himself when your not around. It’s either you help him via phone or he helps himself via dirty movie,  magazine, or other woman. When on the phone, start by taking a trip down memory lane remind him of a great night you once had and then elaborate on it, “like remember when” and if we ever did it again how I would change it. He’ll enjoy the image of when it actually happened and will be able to create a stronger visual. Detail is the key of phone sex.

Tip Three, don’t forget about girls night, make sure at least once a week you set a side a time to be with your friends even if it means canceling a date with your man. If your socializing with someone other than him on a regular bases he wont think the pressure is on to make you happy or smile but rather just be there for each other, and the memories you create on girls nights can become excellent stories to share with him later on.

Tip Four, Don’t forget to spice things up. Make sure you suggest new and interesting things to do together. Like dressing up for sex, he could be an officer and your the criminal, he could be Ken and you could be Barbie etc. Suggesting new things like going to that amusement park or new club/ bar opening in town even if it sounds lame; because, sometimes you’ll have fun. Surprise him with new gifts, tickets to comedy shows, or concerts. He’ll think of you as spontaneous and love you more.

Tip Five, try to get to know his friends, you don’t have to become “one of the guys”, but if you end up with completely different friend groups your bound to be bashed or debated on behind closed doors. Helpful Hint: The more his friends seem to pay attention to you the more he probably raves about you to them, so take advantage of that situation.

Most men say they don’t notice when you don’t get new clothes, or haircuts, or wear make-up, but in my experience they do if you haven’t for a while, and even if your boyfriends seems not to care the time you spend on yourself will boost your confidence and make you a happy gal for the night.

Yes, I am not married or been in a long time relationship of over a certain amount of time, but my knowledge of the thousands or cosmos, and flings, hook-ups, and relationships has led me to believe these things work. So tell me what your thoughts are, or what it takes to keep a relationship strong.

Music Fest Weekend: Confusion At It’s Best.

After a night at what was supposed to be the best weekend of the year I began to wonder why we were so quick to jump from happy and normal to confused and crazy? It seemed all around me there were woman suffering from some sort of heart break.

At the “hippy fest” I had learned that my exboyfriend had been cheating on his girlfriend while he was away at a lodge. They started dating right after me and him broke-up. I can’t say I wasn’t surprised he was never a nice guy, but I felt bad for her I learned early to get out, and I was still hurt. I could only image what she was going through.

I had also learned that the really hot doctor in from the mainland was at the fest and while I was “dog faced wasted” I hit on him. He told me the girl he was with was just his roommate, but then went on to tell me he had a girlfriend back in the city. He was horrifying-ly handsome, tall, and nice it was a shame. So after friday when I went back on saturday  I was sad to discover he not only still remembered me hitting on him, he also teased me for it. I was mortified at how forward I acted that I took off right away.

That night also brought something to my attention a girl I once envied broke up with her gorgeous boyfriend he was a free agent and hitting on me but I wasn’t about to be someones rebowned because it’s just not my style. By the end of my second night there I was already to right the night off as a waste of my time and a fail, the cops were out and an underage party on the beach was never going to happen with them around. I pulled my pant up, cleaned my makeup, pulled down my shirt, and raped my gray sweater around myself fast enough to realize the guy I really like was telling one of my friends he really wanted to get laid. We’d slept together once before but he had a girlfriend. The night was wrong but so good.

She didn’t have a clue. It made me more than mad that he was willing to just have sex with anyone. And the questions started all over again. Things like was he looking for me at the end of the fest? Was he just looking for someone to get with? Did he end up with anyone? Does he cheat often? Did his girlfriend ever find out about the other woman? I did this to myself  because I really liked him which only made things worse. Happy smiles turned into faces of confusion I tried to find him but he was no where my friends were and before long I was in my car heading home.

To be perfectly honest I knew he would be there and it was one of the main reasons I went. I didn’t know what came over me but the idea of having him doing anything with anyone else made me crazy. The weird part was that his looks don’t fit my characteristics of perfect, but when you spark with not only personality but passion all that brilliant reasoning goes out the window.

The Woman Obsessed With Love.

Being the gal with many questions, I wondered when taking it far becomes taking it too far. Was crushing on a man who was practically married terrible? We hadn’t talked since we hooked-up, and I found out he was capable of cheating. But now I really like him. It was haunting, the sex was so great it left burned memories and photos in my head. I couldn’t escape the fact that I was now a woman obsessed, obsessed with having a man so unattainable.

His face, that night, the memories I almost wish it had never happened so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. Not to mention I hated him for what he did to his girlfriend. I mean I liked him and it was great but where did I expect this to get me. If anything we would only have sex and I doubt he’d ever leave her. He is four years my senior as well so it would be difficult to sustain a relationship.

And I’d only slept with him once. He was my designer drug, designed to make me crazy. It seem everywhere I went he appear which is expected since I live in such a small town. But he had no urge to talk to me. I didn’t want to put myself to far out on the limn. I mean I had messaged him three times  one explaining about how I wouldn’t tell anyone, the second one included my phone number, and the third asked if we could talk. He responded to none of them. It made me furious, I wanted to scream and ask why he was ignoring me. I wanted to tell her, his girlfriend about the night, but I didn’t want to give up the chance at possibly having a second session with the man that created a new level on what I classify as amazing sex.

The night we’d spent together I was aware of exactly what I was getting into but I couldn’t help it, he was like one of thoughs giant toblerone bars, my weakness so cute, so touchable. That one night filled me for something I had desperately longed for. He held my hand and I curled up next to him afterward; it was odd to say that I felt a big connection to him.

I still had thoughts filling my head, questions like: I wonder if he’ll call, I wonder if he’s done this with someone before, I wonder how long he’d stay with her, I wonder what would happen if we did it again, and the famous where is this all going for both me and his relationship with her.

In a way I thought of him as someone I would more often then not hate. But my passion overruled the fact that he was a cheater when I thought about his humor, his stories, his kindness, and his willingness to help. I’d known him for a while we shared mutual friends, one night two years ago I’d jugged six coolers back, and four fireball shots. That night was the first night I’d ever gotten sick, and he stayed with me the whole time, he held my hair, and was really nice, I never forgot it. He was like this great man that I desperately wanted in my life. I was definitely a woman obsessed. He might have been holding the ropes to tie me up, but I was the one who strapped them around myself. Tied to someone I knew could never get serious about me.

Relationships: Games

In every relationship there seems to be a table in which both parties participate in games. These games are usually played due to a lingering fear of losing your partner on the road to lover vile. But how do we know when enough is enough? When we should stop playing games, settle down, get married, and have kids?

Does modern day dating make us so jaded that when in fact we are faced with a non violent dating situation and the relationship does in fact become serious we can’t handle it. And until that day comes when you’ll meet the “perfect guy” when do we know when the games stop and its time to get serious?

For some men the idea of settling down is one of fear. To my friend David Brien (not real name) the idea of settling down left him short of breath. He was involved in yet another relationship, but unlike all his other relationships he met her on a hot sunny summer day while on his morning run. She was five foot ten with high tits and a nice ass and he was horny.

Unlike all his other girlfriends Taya (not real name) was different. She didn’t have an act for brand names and she wasn’t exactly his model type seeing as she wore no makeup. But he felt comfortable around her, and she made him laugh. She never went out to the clubs and she had fewer lovers in her entire life than he did at his soccer retreats. In short Taya was domestic and his family loved her.

There was just one problem David wasn’t even close to domestic he enjoyed the hookup and club life, sure he had great grades, kept in shape, and volunteered, but he also hooked up with many woman, went deer hunting for fun drunk with the boys, and participate in doing many stupid things.

They were opposites, but David had told me that he really liked her in fact it was the longest relationship he’d ever been in where he didn’t cheat. Sadly that all changed because last week while Taya was away at the cottage her parents owned in Mexico he cheated on her.  I wondered if he did this because he was scared of his feelings towards someone so incompatible with him. The person he cheated with was impartial and lived a very similar life style to him.

The board game in Davids life seem to be getting easier and easier as Taya began to get more and more crazy about life with a baby. It was sad to say that the girl he cheated with wasn’t ever going to let him get married without her knowing the truth.

I on the other hand was thinking about the games I’ve played while David was venting to me it made me think back to last month when I participated in the game lets cheat on my girlfriend. I still felt so awful about the situation why was it that when a woman wants to just talk to the man hes never around but as soon as she wants to sleep with the man he magically appears? With three- four weeks gone by and three unanswered messages I’d began to feel more rejected than ever and the fear of his girlfriend knowing made me nauseated. What was it about her that made me feel so bad about myself. Was it that she had him or was this bigger than him?

I couldn’t get the night we’d spent together out of my head, sure he was older and in a relationship which usually makes you better in bed, but this guy sparked with me and I never spark with anyone it was different and exciting and the time apart from him was killing me. Are situation was on the verge of becoming completely over. Time does kill all. I guess at least I have the memory of what it was like to be together but in my head I was screaming and I wanted more than anything for him to: break up with his girlfriend, tell me he likes me, fool around together a BUNCH, and then get him to visit with me when I move back to the city. It would be nice to have a relationship but if I could just talk to him, just see him, just be with him, that would be enough for me. I was a woman obsessed, obsessed with the idea that we could really be together.

So I guess maybe we never stop playing games maybe getting serious is a game in and of itself. And at the end we just wound up with nothing or companion ship as two elders.

 

Relationships without the trust.

After I’d spent a hour at my friends house I began to wonder about trust or rather a relationship without trust. Is it possible to be completely happy in a relationship if you don’t trust your partner? Does trust guarantee love, or can you still manage to somehow love someone when you don’t trust them?

An old teacher of mine had little to no trust in her relationship. She was married with three kids but her husband always fooled around behind her back and she knew it. She herself didn’t stay loyal but yet they seemed to be happy from the outside. Completely content with their situation.

A woman close to my ex teachers age had also demonstrated the same opinion she said that people, especially people with a bustling career can’t expect everything. She had a very successful career as the chair woman at her local city council. She informed me that she doesn’t expect things to be the way she wants them all the time. It take compromise she could be with a not so attractive about ten years her senior that would stay loyal to her or she could have a young handsome man that would be by her side make her happy and the only down fall would be the lack of trust in the relationship.

So I had to wonder was it better to be in a stress free trust full love nest? Or have an amazing career, tones of admirers, an trilling  sex?

Sandra (not real name) was a woman in a relationship with a thirty-two year old baby. While she went to work he sat on the couch, watched t.v., and according to her phone bill statements made allot of long distance phone calls to his ex. So she couldn’t ever trust him. And when I asked why she stayed with him or why she still puts up with his childish behavior she told me it was because the sex was unbelievable. “Never before has anyone made me orgasm as hard as he does.

Sandra had lost her house in a fire, went on medication because of her brake down, developed an unstable relationship with her son, and found herself babysitting her boyfriend. As far as I and she were concerned this had not been her year.

As far as my own love life went, I realized I may not be able to trust anyone and I might not get everything I want.  To stop expecting this to turn out the way you thought they would and just let it be. Because sometimes when your very lucky you have friends that make up for thoughs unfortunate ex-boyfriends.